


Just Deserts

by Hyperballad



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Cross-dressing Dwarves, Horny Thorin, M/M, Other, Pretty Hobbit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-12-21 10:57:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyperballad/pseuds/Hyperballad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Timeline is set to Bilbo Baggins being recruited as the 'Burglar' for the Company of Dwarves and they are still in his Hobbit hole in Bag End. When Kili got too curious for his own good, Cross-dressing fun ensues and as Bilbo thought the two brothers had their just deserts, it seemed the same was served upon him as well...with a more pleasant outcome for all the dwarves, for Gandalf and perhaps...for Bilbo himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Deserts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyKiera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKiera/gifts).



> Hi everyone, ok this work is a bit rushed so I don't know how the hell it turned out, to be honest but I hope you enjoy it (somewhat) XD This is dedicated to LadyKiera, thank you so much for following my Thilbo fic (honestly, I feel like I sucked) XD
> 
> Note: I love cross dressing my fandoms! I think there is something sexy about men wearing women's clothing, I don't know why! XD

“Sorry Gandalf, I can’t sign this-” Bilbo sighed as he handed over the dwarf’s contract back to Gandalf.

“You’ve got the wrong hobbit-”

Bilbo had finished speaking with Gandalf and he left the old wizard before his large fireplace, contemplating sadly on Bilbo's answer. He had just declined the offer to become the ‘burglar’ for the company of dwarves on their quest for Erebor. Bilbo was extremely annoyed with the lot of them because they had cleared out his entire pantry, made fun of him, caused much disarray to all of his rooms and gave him such a fright about the ‘dragon’ lurking within Erebor; who had every means to dismember and mutilate him should he decide to join them on their adventure and enter the treasure hold of the Lonely Mountain for them.

“Pah, all ridiculous! The lot of you! Why should I leave Bag End for this nonsense?” Bilbo muttered under his breath as he stomped off towards his bedroom to retire for the night. He flung a glance towards his dining area and the dwarves were still getting rowdy and drinking more of his beer and eating his remaining food. Among them was Thorin Oakenshield, who favored him with a withering glare. Bilbo did not say anything further and quickly retreated to his room. He closed the door behind him, sighing audibly again and then when he turned to face his bed, he let out a small cry of surprise. Kili and Fili were in his bedroom and they were wearing...his dresses. Those were the ‘things’ he had kept secret under his bed. He wore them on occasion when the need took him and he thought he looked pretty in them, although wild ponies would not have dragged such an utterance from him. Both the young dwarves did not face him yet, they were prancing about in the voluminous satiny-soft dresses and laughing at each other. Kili was wearing the pink one with the dark red sash while Fili wore the pale yellow one that should have had a black corset with it but Fili left it on the bed as he did not know how to wear it.

“What are you oafs doing?” Bilbo said in a sibilant, quaking voice as he glared at the young dwarves, his face reddening in his embarrassment. They turned to look at him and they were laughing at their own silliness.

“Master Bilbo, do these belong to you?” Kili asked as he lifted the skirt of the dress he was wearing and he twirled about. He was still giggling and smiling as he faced Bilbo again and his brother was also laughing at how ‘fetching’ his own brother looked in a dress. Fili was fanning himself with a feather fan of a pale yellow color, matching his dress. Bilbo grabbed it from his hand and it was all he could do not to shout out at the two blithering idiots who unabashedly went through his belongings as if they have every right to do so.

“No! Of course not! They belonged to my mother!” Bilbo lied as he tried to put away the things they had taken out of the chest of clothes, haughtily stamping about in a great show of annoyance.

“They look quite new-” Fili commented as he touched the fabric of the dress he was wearing, admiring its softness.

“Well, it does not concern you whether they are new or not! You went through my belongings!” Bilbo finally raised his voice and stared at both the brothers forbiddingly but they did not seem apologetic or chastised for being told on. Kili continued to twirl and dance about in the dress. Underneath he still wore his own clothing, making the dress look lumpy on him.

“You were wearing it wrong, you...you buffoons!” Bilbo said angrily and still blushing. He was grabbing the other silks that were spread out on his bed when Kili spoke curiously.

“How should it be worn then, Master Bilbo? Will you show us?” Kili implored and Fili elbowed him for speaking up.

“I think we have intruded enough on Master Bilbo and he wants his privacy, Kili-” Fili hissed in his ear and Bilbo heard him anyway.

“But he said we wore it wrong so I want to know how it should look on us, Fili-” Kili said peevishly.

Bilbo glared at the other two dwarves for a moment longer and then a plan formed inside of his head. He felt the need to avenge himself upon the two meddling young dwarves. He decided to dress them and make them up so 'fetchingly' and then he would call all the other dwarves in so they can look at the two brothers in their ‘fashionable’ garb. That would teach them to tamper with his things.

“Alright then, Master Kili. Master Fili. I will show you-” He gave both dwarves a rather insolent smile but they smiled back at him brightly, oblivious to the fact that there was something behind the hobbit’s mocking grin.

“Both of you take all your clothes off!” Bilbo said, putting his hands upon his hips. Both the brothers looked at each other hesitantly and then they did as they were told. Bilbo saw their hairy bodies and he was quite envious of their impressive physique. They both looked very manly and somewhat attractive without their clothes on that it made Bilbo blush as he stared at them. Bilbo went to Kili first and helped him into the pink dress again, buttoning it up properly this time and pulling at the hooks for the red sash. He pulled tight at the sash and tugged at it so violently that Kili winced.

“Oh, Master Bilbo! That’s so tight!” Kili moaned in a small voice.

“Be quiet and take it in! You said you wanted this done so I am giving it to you!” Bilbo said in a ruthless voice and then he tied the ribbon at the back of Kili’s waist. Kili grunted again but he drew his stomach in and bore with it. Bilbo was nearly strangling him with the tightness of the sash; it made the dwarf moan breathlessly and cry over and over. Bilbo smiled at his handiwork and nodded in approval. He gestured towards Fili, who looked quite appalled at what was done to his brother, suddenly unsure he wanted to go through with this.

"You! Come over here and I will do you next!" Bilbo commanded of Fili. Fili nervously came over and Bilbo helped him into the yellow dress and after he buttoned the back, he picked up the corset from the bed and wrapped it around Fili’s waist. He laced up the ribbons at the back dexterously and he began to tug and pull roughly on it making Fili grunt and make small cries as he continued.

“Master Bilbo, I can’t breathe!” Fili wheezed and gasped out as he held onto the foot of the bed. Bilbo ignored him and strung the corset tighter.

“Ugh! Oh Master Bilbo! Please I can’t take it anymore!”

“Shut up and bear with it!” Bilbo growled and when he finished he wiped at his forehead and let out a breath, gasping and sweaty with his exertions. Both dwarves were red in the face and looked quite uncomfortable in the dresses but they do look somewhat womanly. Now, all he needed was to put some rouge and powder upon them and to fix their hair. Both the young dwarves were gasping for breath loudly as they looked before the large round mirror that Bilbo had in his room.

“Better?” Bilbo asked as he smiled at the two brothers. They both nodded in agreement for the dresses did look quite good on their bodies. Bilbo frowned, looking down at their hairy legs and realized the image did not sit well with him. Bilbo clapped his hands together and then he felt around in his chest of clothing; he found stockings that would go with the dresses. Bilbo gave the red one to Kili while Fili had the tan colored stockings. Both the brothers had to sit on the bed in an unseemly manner and they had difficulty wearing the stockings for they can hardly bend down to put their feet through. Bilbo let out a cry of annoyance and grabbed the stocking from Fili’s hand and helped him into it first.

“Here, lift your leg up and put it on my shoulder!” Bilbo said roughly and pushed the stocking down Fili’s leg hurriedly and violently that it elicited another moan from Fili.

"Ahhhh!"

After he finished with Fili, he went to Kili next. Kili jumped in his seat when Bilbo turned to him. He looked alarmed at the prospect of wearing such tight things on his legs for he could hardly breathe through the tight sash he had around his waist.

“You! Stop closing your legs together and take this! You wanted this, am I right?” Bilbo demanded and gave Kili a pointed look.

“Y-Yes-” Kili said hesitantly, he sounded close to tears. Bilbo grabbed his legs, pulling them apart and making Kili screech loudly in a high voice. Bilbo rashly slipped the tight stocking up Kili’s legs, it was a wonder the dainty things did not rip through. Kili cried out again at the rough movements that Bilbo was making as he slid the stocking up high upon the dwarf’s thighs. Bilbo drew back and smiled delightedly this time. He was getting into what he was doing to the two dwarves.

“Master Kili, sit back on the bed and be quiet. I am going to do something and I want you to keep still, understood?”

Kili nodded, his brow furrowed curiously and then Bilbo took out his small box of women’s make up and began to powder Kili’s face. He daubed rouge upon the young dwarf’s cheeks and lips and he brushed the long, straggly black hair of the other making it gleam in the lamplight. Kili held up a hand glass and was admiring how good Master Bilbo was at what he was doing.

“My! You are quite good at this, Master Bilbo!” Kili cried out in admiration as he stared at himself in the mirror, turning to admire his profile. He pouted his lips out to himself and smiled. He couldn't stop tittering delightedly, as if he was being tickled by the sight of himself like this.

“Oh please! Me next! Please Master Bilbo!” Fili cried out enthusiastically as he looked on. After Bilbo was done with Kili he worked on putting makeup on him as well and helped to brush the snarls and strings upon Fili’s blond hair. Both Fili and Kili are laughing and dancing about and making small giddy cries of happiness before the round mirror, admiring themselves and preening about like dwarf women. Fili suddenly looked into the chest and found a lovely dark blue silk dress and held it out to Bilbo.

“Master Bilbo, I think it’s your turn next!”

“What? No! Not at all I... want you boys to enjoy yourselves-”

“But we want you to enjoy this too, Master Bilbo-” Kili cried out and giggled as he began to take Bilbo’s clothes off of him.

“No! Stop that!” Bilbo said in a low hiss. He tried to glare at both of them again but failed. A look of excitement crossed his face as Kili kept on undressing him and then Fili came close and was putting the dress on Bilbo. Bilbo started giggling too and he was getting into this foolishness along with the brothers. He began to put makeup upon his face, putting on some rouge and powder and then he combed his hair down upon his forehead. He put on the low heels he had in his chest of secrets. Unfortunately, he did not have any shoes that will fit the brothers, for their feet were bigger than his. Kili helped him and was looking through the chest, trying to find shoes that would fit him. He found a soft, silky flat heeled pair of a shiny red fabric and he was forcing his foot into one. He grunted and groaned but it will not fit in.

“Uhhhh, it’s so tiny!” Kili moaned as he continued forcing his foot in.

“Stop it! You’re going to break it through!” Bilbo cried out angrily. He tried to tug the shoe away from Kili but the other was petulantly still forcing it. They both made grunting and gasping sounds while they fought for purchase for that silk shoe, all the while Fili watched in confusion over the exchange.

"Give it to me, Master Bilbo I want it!" Kili gasped out in a strangled voice.

"No, enough I say! That's enough!" Bilbo groaned out irritably as he fought a tug-of-war for the shoe with Kili. Bilbo pushed Kili's chin away, grunting protestingly.

"Please, I need it!" Kili begged, breathlessly scrabbling for the shoe which was both in their hands.

The door suddenly slammed open and in came Thorin, his blue eyes wide, his mouth hung open in dismay. He had heard the entire exchange outside from the point when Bilbo said he will show them something and up to this point when Bilbo was struggling against Kili...over a silk shoe. He thought they were doing something sexually indecent. Instead he found them like this: All three of them were dolled up in women’s clothing and the prettiest of them all was Bilbo. His tiny face looked equally dismayed as he stared up at Thorin, his blue eyes ringed with thick lashes which were as wide as saucers, his red lips trembling and round with shock.

“ What in the name of Thror are you three doing?” Thorin asked dryly as he glared at them. Bilbo did not know what to say. He was quite shocked to be seen like this. He suddenly stood up and gave a final hard tug and got the silk shoe from Kili, whose lips were drawn down petulantly. He made a small complaining sound. He so wanted to wear that silk shoe. Bilbo drew away from the Durin brothers and gave Thorin an unsure smile.

“Well we were...that is...um…we…we-” Bilbo stammered incoherently, blushing and feeling extremely mortified. Thorin gestured to the two brothers with a nod of his head.

“You two...get out!”

The two young dwarves looked stricken. They swallowed thickly and looked at each other and then they faced Thorin again.

“Uncle, we can’t go out like this. Let me and Kili get our-” Fili began.

“Out I say!” Thorin bellowed ominously that the two brothers hurriedly ran out the door, leaving their clothes in Bilbo’s bedroom. Before they could take off the womanly clothes they were wearing out in the doorway, Bofur saw them as he was stepping outside of the kitchen and he started to laugh uproariously. He was clutching at his stomach, tears streaming down his eyes.

“Well aren’t you a sight to behold? A pair of the most ugliest dwarf women I have ever seen-” Bofur gasped out as he kept on laughing, bending down and slapping his hands to his knees. He guffawed so loudly it drew the attention of all the other dwarves. Both Fili and Kili looked up in horror as the other dwarves crowded around to look at them and they all started howl with laughter at the two brothers.

"Oh my! I never thought the Durin clan would ever have its share of such womanly progeny! What fierce warriors you make indeed-" Balin commented blandly as he chuckled under his breath and shared a look with Dwalin who was pounding his back over such a witty comment and was doubled over laughing.

"Who do you think is prettiest? I think Kili takes my gold for this one-" Nori said to Dori and they both howled out with rough, trollish laughter.

"None of them are pretty! My jacksies more pretty than this ugly lot!" Ori exclaimed loudly causing all the other dwarves to roar out laughing and they were slapping and pushing at each other in their merriment. Bombur had collapsed on the floor rolling about and bellowing out his own laughter. Even Gloin, who had never been persuaded to react much, was shaking and bending over in a fit of laughter. Bifur, who could not voice out his own laughter was able to make some sort of wheezy snickering and was elbowing Oin who deigned the sight of the brothers unworthy of humor and lifted a dismissive hand, making all the others laugh even more.

Fili clapped a hand over his eyes as he silently fumed while Kili began to moan in his humiliation, pulling down on his skirt to try and cover his legs. His face was extremely red. “Brother, what do we do?” Fili just rolled his eyes at Kili and groaned.

Inside of Bilbo’s room, he was nervously trying to skitter away as Thorin advanced ever so closer to him. He heard the laughter of the other dwarves from outside and knew that his actions upon the two Durin brothers had served its purpose...but what of him now? There was a strange look in Thorin’s eyes as he stared at Bilbo. His dark intent was quite obvious to the frightened hobbit. He let his heavy coat fall to the floor.

“You look very beautiful tonight, Bilbo-” Thorin said in a throaty voice as he circled around the bed. Bilbo was awkwardly trying to move away from him. He nearly slipped and fell because of his slippery and shiny wooden floor and Thorin caught him in his arms.

“Eeep!” Bilbo squeaked out.

“Careful now, Master Bilbo. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself-” Thorin whispered against his forehead and Bilbo made a small dismayed sound as Thorin pressed himself up against Bilbo.

“I thought you were doing something filthy with my nephews, Bilbo but I see you were just playing dress up with them-” Thorin purred.

“Ah, yes all harmless fun, that is!” Bilbo said nervously and was struggling against the dwarf prince’s embrace.

“I’d like to play a game with you, Bilbo. It’s called dress down. Would you like to play?” Thorin crooned into Bilbo’s ear, his breath hot. Bilbo cringed and made odd, gagging sounds in his throat and struggled afresh, making it so his negation was vehement enough for the other to understand.

“No! No! NO! ABSOLUTELY NO!”

Thorin laughed at Bilbo, his demeanor quite insolent, as if Bilbo had no choice over the matter anyway.

“Your mouth may say no, but your body says yes. I can feel it here,” Thorin said in a deep voice as he touched Bilbo through his dress and felt his stiffening prong underneath. Bilbo let out a trembling moan, putting the back of his hand to his mouth and then Thorin was grabbing his chin, pushing his hand away and he was kissing him insistently. When Thorin pulled back, he had smeared the rouge around Bilbo’s mouth and his own. Bilbo's eyes grew heavy, as if he was drugged and he was gasping breathily. Thorin began to undress Bilbo and pushed him back onto the bed and Bilbo did not protest any further. He was giving in as Thorin kissed his cheeks and his throat and touched his body, making him moan in arousal this time. Meanwhile, Fili and Kili sat on two chairs they had settled close by Bilbo’s door and both of them are fuming in silence. They heard cries and moans in the room. Who knows what those two could be doing in there?

"Fili, do you think they are going to take any longer? I want to get out of these silly clothes!" Kili cried impatiently as he eyed the door with a tragic look on his face.

Fili just glared at the door and deemed not to answer his brother, whom he quietly blamed for this utter humiliation. It was several hours and then Thorin stepped out of the door, buckling his belt and he had on a dizzy grin and he had rouge still faintly smeared on his face...and his neck...and his chest and well, some more down below. He nodded towards his two nephews, oblivious to the sight of them in dresses and when he left, Fili and Kili scrabbled for the handle of Bilbo's doorknob and went in, unannounced. Bilbo lay naked upon his own bed, a smile of drugged ecstasy pasted upon his own expression.

His skin gleamed with sweat and his hair was dark with it as well, making it cling to his cheeks and his makeup was already all but erased on his face. He had a sheet covering the lower half of his body and his eyes were glazed over with sated lust. He turned to look at the brothers and he giggled happily.

"Fili, Kili! Have you been waiting long? I do apologize for that-" Bilbo sat up on his bed and drew the sheet around himself. Both the brothers had stormy expressions upon their faces as they glared down at Bilbo. Fili had the strange notion Bilbo meant to have them humiliated. Bilbo got up and brought their clothes over to them smiling.

"I have something for the both of you!" Bilbo began brightly and then he opened his chest of secrets and handed each of them a silky undergarment slip. A pale blue one for Kili and a greenish-gold one for Fili. Both Fili and Kili looked at each other strangely. Kili's frame shook slightly as if he was about to have a fit but then he burst out laughing and both he and Fili were grinning as they took the slips from Bilbo.

"That's generous of you, Master Bilbo! Thank you!" Kili cried out as he held the slip over his body, trying to see how it looks like over him. Fili was already taking the dress off that he was wearing; he had removed the corset earlier and he was holding it in one hand then he threw it onto Bilbo's bed and began to put on the silky slip on himself, hurriedly going to the mirror and admiring how he looked. Kili did the same and both the brothers liked the flimsy and soft fabrics.

"Thank you, Bilbo! It's the nicest gift I had ever received!" Fili gushed as he posed in front of the mirror. Both he and Kili were getting into dressing up again. Bilbo already wore his red robe and was beaming at both the brothers.

"You know what, I enjoyed our little dress up and I feel it only fitting I give you something to remember this moment by-" Bilbo said magnanimously. They had no idea that Gandalf was outside listening in on everything that was happening near Bilbo's window and he was laughing quietly to himself. He had a feeling that the hobbit will be joining them in their quest and so he set about to foist a little wager with the other dwarves who were still merry making and gorging themselves on Bilbo's beer.

The next day, Bilbo woke up late and realized that the dwarves had left ahead of him. It was because he did not sign the contract yet and they thought not to wake him. He hurriedly packed; closed up his hobbit hole as well as he could and ran through the shire to reach Thorin and his company of dwarves. He presented the signed contract to Balin who inspected it then he put it aside.

"Give him a pony-" Thorin commanded and he gave Bilbo a sultry grin.

Bilbo smiled back coyly but then as they continued, he realized he left one of his favorite dresses and had wanted to go back. He made some excuse that he left his 'handkerchief', prompting Bofur to rip a piece of his nasty, unwashed shirt and flung it towards Bilbo, making him grimace in distaste. Thorin rode next to him leering and then he leaned close and whispered in his ear.

"Don't you worry, Bilbo. Where we are going you don't need to dress up for me since you won't need your clothes when it's just the two of us-"

Bilbo blushed deeply, right up to the roots of his hair as he looked up at Thorin shyly, knowing that there will be more nights that will see him 'undressed'.

 


End file.
